According to the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI), there are five styles of handling conflict. An understanding of the five styles should be used to plan an approach to a difficult conversation or meeting, or it can be used to understand the other party’s position and approach.
- Competing: Under this style, you disregard the wants of the other person and aggressively pursue your goal. This should only be used if there is little hope of salvaging the relationship or an immediate action or conclusion to the situation is needed.
- Collaborating: In this mode, you are both assertive and cooperative, working to find a solution that satisfies both teams.
- Compromising: In the compromising approach, you know that neither you nor the client will be completely happy at the resolution of the issue. Your main goal is to find a solution that partly satisfies both sides. You each need to give a little. These conflict resolutions are more complex, requiring both sides to reveal what they care about and to trust the other person.
- Avoiding: This approach to conflict is all too common. You simply avoid the issue, hoping that you won’t have to deal with it. Sometimes it works to avoid problems that will eventually resolve themselves. But in most cases, this is not a long-term solution as these problems reappear, uglier than ever.
- Accommodating: In the accommodating mode, you work to solve the resolution and are so focused on the other person’s needs or solving the problem that you end up working against your own objectives.
It’s also useful to consider how much power you have in this situation. Is it more or less than the other party? What are you willing to lose in the conflict situation? Know this before you start the resolution process.
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